Becoming an Adult – Age is Just a Number

Peter De Vries has one of my favorite quotes about marriage and becoming an adult, “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.” If you think about this, it is scary true! Just because you are over a certain age doesn’t make you an adult.

I always have thought that I was mature, but in all reality I was just selfish (Yes, I am admitting it). Having a child is a great equalizer. It doesn’t matter what job you had before becoming a parent or how much money you make, you are now mommy and daddy. Through parenthood you have now been bonded to other parents and congratulations – you are in the club. But surprise – there are no quick fixes and all the advice in the world cannot prepare you for those sleepless nights and all the heart wrenching cries you hear escape the mouth of your child.

Yes, you may attend important meetings and have coffee delivered to you by an intern and feel that you are important, but now you are the most important person in the world; you are a parent and you mean everything to that child!

It is time to put down the mocha and pick up a package of diapers; skip that “important” meeting and watch your child take his/her first steps. Life is now, more than ever, about sacrifice.Sleepy head

I will gladly sacrifice my own comfort so that my son can finally get some good quality sleep, even if it is on my chest or in my arms. Yes, I will complain later that I am tired, hungry and haven’t showered yet today, but as soon as he smiles up at me it is all worth it and believe me, he cries A LOT!

I was not an adult when I graduated from college. I wasn’t even full an adult when I got married, but I did become an adult the day I brought my son home from the hospital. My life became about sacrifice and never ending love.

We were given the perfect example of adulthood in the Bible. God gave up His Son and His Son gave up His life so that we could choose to have everlasting life through Him. Now I don’t want to get all preachy, but honestly I never saw it that way until I became a parent. Giving yourself over to another takes a lot of trust and patience. You are no longer your own, now you have a “little” person to look after.
So far the hardest thing for me has been discovering my son’s personality and coming to terms with the fact that my idea of parenthood is not what he has in mind. I have lost numerous hours in a day thinking I was a bad mother because I couldn’t figure out what he wanted, now I know that I have to slow down and look at things from his perspective. He is a person and already he has his likes and dislikes I just had to figure them out.

For example, every time I gave my son a bath he screamed his head off and I couldn’t figure out why. I thought for sure he would love bath time. After going through the different scenarios, I learned that it isn’t the water he hates, but rather the cold plastic tub we put in him for the bath. Eliminate the tub = enjoying bath time ☺

Fist Smile
Fist Smile

I am not perfect though, and my poor husband has watched me break down on a number of occasions, but with practice and patience we are starting to see our son’s personality form. Discovering my son’s personality helps me discover who I am more and more. This journey is one that is never-ending and even through the tough parts I am thrilled at the chance to discover my heart.

If you are a parent please share what surprised you about your child’s personalities in the comment section below. Also don’t forget to subscribe for more updates about the chaos of being a new parent and the journey of Discovering My Heart!

Labor and Delivery Story

It has taken me awhile to write this post, I had too process the events that occurred. It has taken me a few weeks to really come to terms with the fact that I almost lost my life, but I also gave birth to life. God has always been good to me, but I have yet another testimony to share with others about His grace. Not only have I been blessed with a son, but also I have been given a new appreciation for this life that God has blessed me with.

As with most of my pregnancy things did not go according to plan – but in life what plans really turn out the way we envisioned them? Finding out I was pregnant with my son was one of the best days of my life, leading up to his birth that is. My husband and I were overjoyed and couldn’t wait to experience parenthood and start a new journey together as a family.

Well just a few weeks ago our son was born, but there is more to the story than just a beautiful baby boy.


Tobias  I was induced late on a Sunday evening and waiting for things to progress. After 24 hours of labor I finally got the epidural. I wasn’t in that much pain, but I had a feeling in the back of my mind that I would need the medicine and I later found out it was a smart choice on my part.

Even after the epidural I still had not progressed with my labor. The dosage of Pitocin that was pumped into my system seems, now, quite ungodly. Each time they increased the dosage they had to request its approval from the doctor. 36 hours later I had no baby to show for my hard work. It was then that my doctor told me we had no other option, a C-section was needed.

At 5:00 AM I went into surgery with my husband by my side, since I had the epidural it didn’t take to much more medication to “numb me up” for the procedure- I was not that numb, I could feel every cut and every staple that went into my lower abdomen. Soon my son was born and I watched as they carried my crying child from the room.

Even though my husband wanted to stay with me, I sent him to be with our son. I was so happy when I got to hold Tobias for the first time, but sadly it didn’t last long.

After about 20 minutes being out of surgery a few nurses came in to check on me. At first I thought it was routine, but then they started pushing hard on my abdomen, I guess they didn’t care that I was just cut open, and blood started pouring out of my body. I didn’t think much of it, but then more and more nurses started to pouring in, my husband said that it was close to 20 nurses in our room. I was completely out of it, but I thought it was due to the medication, I know now that it was due to the blood loss. I had no idea that anything was wrong until I saw the color drain from my husbands face and they were taking Tobias from my arms.

Soon I was rushed back into surgery and I remember praying to God asking him for peace and protection. I lost over 2 liters of blood, but I am still here. After receiving a few blood transfusions, 4 to be exact, I was finally released 4 days after the birth of my son.

Yes, these events that took place were scary and even now I cry sometimes thinking about them, but truth be told I am so blessed every time I look into my sons eyes. Things did not go according to plan, but they all turned out okay.

Hopefully now that I am healing properly I will be back to my normal self in no-time.

Family Time


“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures,he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever -Psalm 23:1-6″