Don’t Lose Your Joy

It’s inevitable that when you are content and happy with how life is going there is a curve ball thrown. Not only is it coming toward you — it’s coming to bowl you over. Just know, it’s ok to fall, but you have a choice of getting back up.

Throughout my pregnancy, things have been going extremely well other than once again dealing with gestational diabetes. My lovely baby is growing properly, I haven’t gained too much weight and everything is on track.

My curveball is that I may not be able to deliver my baby the way I intended with a VBAC, but there is also the possibility that I could. This is all due to the uncertainty of my gestational diabetes and the risks that come with prolonging my pregnancy. Unlike other moms who can wait until the baby is ready, that puts me and the baby at a great risk of complications.

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Talk about playing with a hormonal pregnant women’s emotions!

I’ve been working on being more present in life and to stop focusing on things I cannot control, this has gone a long way, I think, with my family and the amount of stress I have taken off of them because I have taken it off myself.

I have been enjoying all the small moments of each day, every laugh, every tickle fight and all the tantrums and stubbornness that teaches me that I am raising a strong-willed and caring toddler.

This strategy of slowing down has done so much for my anxiety as well and now I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything. However, today’s doctors’ appointment almost ruined my mindset.

Not stressing out the future has been oddly freeing and I have embraced it these last few weeks. When I heard that there could be complications with my pregnancy after just hearing that I was doing so well, I felt the panic rise in my chest. It almost took root in my mind and I could feel the virus of stress wanting to take over.

Thankfully, this morning I remember hearing God say to me “be anxious for nothing, and pray about everything.”

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One of my goals this week was to find joy in every moment and his words I took as a reinforcement of that goal.

It is so true that Satan and life try to steal our joy. I have been so happy these last few weeks and that was a moment that could have destroyed it all, but I won’t let it.

I cannot control the future.

I cannot dictate when this baby will be born.

I cannot make my desires a reality.

But I can control who I give power to. 

Everything is better in God’s hands and as I come to terms with reality I am more comforted by His ability to be my protector, my healer, my Abba Father than I was this morning.

My faith in His ability will not wavier.

I will rejoice in the Lord always.

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Find joy in every moment and cling to the promises of God. Do not let anything steal your joy!

❤ Sarah

Hot Mess Mom

Sibling Love
He normally isn’t interested in the belly, but more and more he is starting to get that a baby is coming!

Yep, that’s me!

I am a hot mess mom! I never have a clean kitchen for longer than 5 minutes and just as the laundry has been folded and put away another pile magically appears.

On weekends makeup barely makes it on my face and I am lucky if I get a chance to wash it!

Luckily, my family doesn’t mind, or at least they haven’t expressed that they find it to be annoying…other than my husband’s hatred for a dirty kitchen sink! 🙄😜

Napping Toddler
Piles of laundry on the bed and piles on the floor in the closet. Tobias doesn’t mind, he is passed out for his nap!

Officially, I have entered the third trimester and this pregnancy seems as though it is flying by. We just picked the paint color for the nursery for gosh sakes! Nothing is ready, including me.

I had planned on so many things, but life just keeps getting in the way! And by in the way, I mean keeping up with an active and loving toddler who just can’t sit still and loves to take adventures to the gym, store and more. He may also be slightly obsessed with Paw Patrol!

Tobias is excited to be a big brother, but he hasn’t fully grasped the whole concept. He is convinced that a baby is in my belly, but his (spoiler alert) baby sister is in his belly!

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I’m sure things will start to come together, and I know this baby will receive tons of love and attention, but man, do I feel behind on everything!

I’m proud that I am a working mom, but that does mean for the most part when I am home I have to prioritize my time and I will always pick spending time with my family over a clean house.

I will admit that I wish I had a house cleaning fairy! And if you are a full-time working parent and you have a super clean house more power to you!

For now, I’m content with my happy, messy home filled with great memories and lots of love.

❤ Sarah

Personal Chaos

It seems as though everyone around me has found their balance in life, but for some reason, I feel like I’m about to topple over. Yet, I have given myself no choice, I must push through these emotions.

Since my last post, I have lost my grandfather and my husband has lost a great uncle that he was very close too.

Loss is a part of life, yes, but when it happens in waves over a family it takes longer for loved ones to grieve – since well, there are more things to grieve. It’s more difficult to process when it is around the holidays.

That is one segment of how life has been going.

Pregnancy has been a struggle thus far as well. I have officially hit the six-month mark, and once again have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. The struggles have been similar to my first pregnancy and I am dreading the bill that comes with all the extra ultrasounds and the doctor’s fees. Money is always a sore topic especially when you are doing all you can to save for a new baby and all of the expenses that come with it.

Then there is all the planning.

Tobias is thrilled to be a big brother, but I haven’t had a moment to focus on getting the nursery set up or even plan a baby shower. Yes, I know a lot of people are against having a baby shower for their second child, but in all honesty, I believe all babies deserve to be celebrated. After all, it isn’t about the presents. It’s about your excitement to have a beautiful new baby enter our world!

My teeter-totter has been swaying so much over all of my emotions that I am finding it hard to regain my footing. This is only the personal side of my story — there is a whole other aspect of my life that I do my best not to think about while blogging — work.

I love my job, but recently we have undergone some major changes so I also feel unbalanced at work as well. I have always wanted to control the uncontrollable, but I finally think I am at that point in my life when I should just say “heck with it,” and let the world continue to spin around the sun in a vast galaxy that couldn’t care less about my struggles to find balance.

Feeling unbalanced isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it gives us the chance to step back and really evaluate how we would like to move forward from this point.

After all, we can’t change the past we can only change what is happening right in front of us at this moment. Then, in turn, affect our futures.

Yes, I am struggling, that’s just life.

I am going to take this unbalanced season of my life and use it to shape the here and now. Finding my focus and putting everything I have into it. I may be swimming in a sea of doubt and uncertainty, but at least I’m not drowning yet.

There is always something to be thankful for.

❤ Sarah