Becoming an Adult – Age is Just a Number

Peter De Vries has one of my favorite quotes about marriage and becoming an adult, “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.” If you think about this, it is scary true! Just because you are over a certain age doesn’t make you an adult.

I always have thought that I was mature, but in all reality I was just selfish (Yes, I am admitting it). Having a child is a great equalizer. It doesn’t matter what job you had before becoming a parent or how much money you make, you are now mommy and daddy. Through parenthood you have now been bonded to other parents and congratulations – you are in the club. But surprise – there are no quick fixes and all the advice in the world cannot prepare you for those sleepless nights and all the heart wrenching cries you hear escape the mouth of your child.

Yes, you may attend important meetings and have coffee delivered to you by an intern and feel that you are important, but now you are the most important person in the world; you are a parent and you mean everything to that child!

It is time to put down the mocha and pick up a package of diapers; skip that “important” meeting and watch your child take his/her first steps. Life is now, more than ever, about sacrifice.Sleepy head

I will gladly sacrifice my own comfort so that my son can finally get some good quality sleep, even if it is on my chest or in my arms. Yes, I will complain later that I am tired, hungry and haven’t showered yet today, but as soon as he smiles up at me it is all worth it and believe me, he cries A LOT!

I was not an adult when I graduated from college. I wasn’t even full an adult when I got married, but I did become an adult the day I brought my son home from the hospital. My life became about sacrifice and never ending love.

We were given the perfect example of adulthood in the Bible. God gave up His Son and His Son gave up His life so that we could choose to have everlasting life through Him. Now I don’t want to get all preachy, but honestly I never saw it that way until I became a parent. Giving yourself over to another takes a lot of trust and patience. You are no longer your own, now you have a “little” person to look after.
So far the hardest thing for me has been discovering my son’s personality and coming to terms with the fact that my idea of parenthood is not what he has in mind. I have lost numerous hours in a day thinking I was a bad mother because I couldn’t figure out what he wanted, now I know that I have to slow down and look at things from his perspective. He is a person and already he has his likes and dislikes I just had to figure them out.

For example, every time I gave my son a bath he screamed his head off and I couldn’t figure out why. I thought for sure he would love bath time. After going through the different scenarios, I learned that it isn’t the water he hates, but rather the cold plastic tub we put in him for the bath. Eliminate the tub = enjoying bath time ☺

Fist Smile
Fist Smile

I am not perfect though, and my poor husband has watched me break down on a number of occasions, but with practice and patience we are starting to see our son’s personality form. Discovering my son’s personality helps me discover who I am more and more. This journey is one that is never-ending and even through the tough parts I am thrilled at the chance to discover my heart.

If you are a parent please share what surprised you about your child’s personalities in the comment section below. Also don’t forget to subscribe for more updates about the chaos of being a new parent and the journey of Discovering My Heart!

Hello World:

My name is Sarah and I am 37 weeks pregnant – just to be clear that means I am extremely large and for the most part, crabby! Since a vast majority of you are not women and or your not pregnant, I just wanted to let you see a glimpse as to what it feels like both physically and emotionally.

The question I get asked the most, how does it feel to be pregnant? Answer: It is like you are caring a 30-pound weight on your lower abdomen and you are not allowed to take it off, even when you sleep! For comparison, my puppy Cooper is a little over 30 pounds. Image him laying on you at all times and not being able to move him.

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Do you know what that means? It means that in order to turn over in bed at night you must wake up, support your stomach (or back) and swing it over to the side you want to lay on, and I do mean swing. There is really no way around it, you can’t roll because then you are on top of your baby, and standing up and readjusting is just out of the question, know why? Because your hips are in a ton of pain and adding more pressure to them is enough to make you roll over to your spouse and punch them, in their sleep – of course when I do this I blame our puppy.

Now that we have discussed sleeping habits, minus the waking up every 30 minutes or so to go to the restroom, let us move to chores. I will be the first to admit that my husband does a lot for me, he is just nice like that, but there are some things that he just doesn’t do the way I like…I know I am picky! So that means that a lot of things that need to get done around the house don’t, why is that you may ask – easy, like I stated above I have a 30-pound, non-removable weight on my abdomen, and my hips hurt so much that just your basic duck-shuffle sends me over the edge.

Note to friend: If you come into my home expecting perfections, please just leave…If you are a true friend, please pick up any number of the cleaning supplies that you can find and help! I also have plenty of laundry that needs to be put away before my puppy, Cooper, can steal anything else. (For some reason he really likes to steal remote controls and whatever else he can get his mouth on really.)

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As my husband so lovingly put it this past weekend, I have no more stamina. I cannot walk through 4 stores in less than 3 hours like I use to, plus walk everything up the stairs to my apartment, and then proceed to putting it all away, it just isn’t going to happen people! I do give a little blame to the fact that I live in a small town and the only store that has a “expecting mothers” parking area is Macy’s….I don’t need a thing at Macy’s!

Expectant Mothers Parking  So we park fairly far away and it takes me 5 to 10 minutes just to get to the main entrance of a store, and because it’s a weekend, fight through a hoard of people that just don’t care if your pregnant or just large.

I would also like to take some time to thank the elderly woman who clearly saw me waddling after my husband at Kohl’s this weekend and instead of waiting for us to pass, cut us off completely­­ – I almost fell flat on my face, an object in motion and all that! I would have let it go if you didn’t do the same thing to the couple walking into the store as you were “walking” out…more like bulldozing them over to get out. Poor couple looked like a deer in headlights (I also don’t get why you didn’t use the door adjacent to the couple entering in, but what do I know about common courtesy).

Now for the positive side of things: Yes, I am 37 weeks pregnant. I have clothes laying all over my home, a puppy that wants to play fetch or tug of war all the time, dishes piling up in the sink, and a full time job that I must be present at until my son is born. However, it is nice to have these problems, and it is very humbling to know that even though life gets stressful, I am happy with where I am in life.

It breaks my heart to think about those who don’t have a pile of clothes waiting to be folded because all they have is the shirt on their backs. There are no dishes in the sink because there was no food to cook. These are the real issues of our time! We have grown so accustomed to getting what we want and convincing ourselves that it is a need, we forget about those who don’t even have the basics.

The pain that I feel in my body is fleeting. Soon I will have my son and all these “inconveniences” will be placed in a box deep in my mind, but one thing is certain, I don’t want to forget how truly blessed I am regardless of the problems I convince myself I have.

I challenge everyone including myself to take some time today to think about your problems compared to the problems of the world, or even just the problems of your neighbor. Is it really worth all the focus you are giving it? Can you take the focus off yourself and turn your attention onto another?

Preparation…

“Preparation is key!” Not sure who was the first one to tell me this, but honestly I am starting to feel like it is a bunch of bull. It doesn’t matter how much I try to get organized and ready, I still don’t “feel” prepared. Even though most of my thoughts have been dealing with getting ready for the birth of my son, I feel this way in life often.

Are You Prepared

When my mother would take my brother and I back to school shopping it just seemed like it was always more stressful than just showing up our first day with a pad of paper and a pencil. I mean honestly, there would be something that wasn’t on the list and we would have to go back and repeated the whole process. So it really didn’t matter how prepared we thought we were, we always were missing something.

The Bible does talk in depth about preparation and I do think that it is a serious matter however, there is a huge difference in what I perceive as preparation and what God say’s in his word. When we try to prepare for our day, there is always going to be something missing if you didn’t fill your day with the love of God first. If God was not the first thing on your heart and you did not acknowledge him, then lets face it, you are not ready for the day.

I am not judging anyone, because I am totally guilty of forgetting or trying to do other things first. This is typically when I fall short and realize that I am nothing without God as the center of my life. Being prepared for the workday, and also being prepared for my child, although seem extremely important are nothing with out the guidance and direction the Lord provides.

Earlier this week I had my first nightmare about my son being born. I won’t go into to much detail, but I was not prepared and didn’t even have my son’s going home outfit (pictured below, so cute!) let alone his car seat.

Going home outfitSo in the dream they wouldn’t let me have my son, and were going to take him away from me because I wasn’t a “prepared” mother.

Needless to say I did not sleep well the rest of the night, I kept thinking about everything that needed to be done and everything that I was still missing. Especially things I needed that my husband and I cannot afford.

Just as I was starting to give myself a headache, I felt the presence of God wrap his love around me. He spoke the words that have echoed in my heart each day after having that dream, “These preparations are in vein if they don’t include me; let me show you what you need and lean on me. It is through me that you will not only have what you need, but the knowledge you need to raise this child I am blessing you with.”

I am honestly not one to cry often, except apparently when I am pregnant, but I broke down and cried in the bathroom as my husband continued to snore in our bedroom. I didn’t realize how much stress I was putting on myself to be perfect. The anxiety that I was feeling wasn’t just about the things I needed to be a good mom, it was about being a good mom. I allowed doubt to enter into my life simply because I didn’t feel I was prepared. There is no book you can buy that will tell you how to be the perfect mother, there are books that try but lets be realist! God is the only one who can teach and guide us to be who He has called us to be.

I know this may not seem that bad to some, but here is a sneak peak into my nursery. I will make sure to post an updated photo once I have it all done!

Preperation

Pregnancy Issues – Gestational Diabetes

Originally I was just going to make a generic post to get started, but honestly my journey has already turned down a different path in the last 48 hours.

{Background Info} I am in my third trimester of pregnancy with my first child. Since I am only 26 there is no reason I should have a high-risk pregnancy, but as with everything else there is always a curve ball aimed at your head and if you don’t duck you’re screwed.

There are a lot of tests that the doctors perform to make sure that mom and baby are okay. So far all of my tests have been negative, but lately things have been a little more out of control. The first surprise was high blood pressure, normally not a problem for me however it does run in the family. So I was hospitalized last weekend to be monitored for hypertension. All was fine with that and I was sent home. Then I got a call from my doctor yesterday that the results of my glucose tests came back as positive for Gestational Diabetes (from now on I will refer to this as GD).

If you have never had to take a glucose test consider yourself lucky. There are two stages of this test the first one is only 1-hour long and you have to drink a “sugar water” beverage and it is gross!glucose-drink

If you are getting ready to take it, make it as cold as possible, but do not put it in the freezer (I almost didn’t see that on the label the first time). I failed that test, but that didn’t mean that I had GD so I had to come back and do a 3-hour test.

Basically for the 3-hour test you can’t eat anything for 8 hours, so its better to do this test in the morning. Once you get to the lab they will draw your blood for a control group then the real fun begins! Again you drink/chug the “sugar water” and then you wait. You will be brought back to the lab 3 more times to have blood drawn to see how your body is processing the sugar. Personally felt fine after the first hour.

Honestly Diabetes is a big fear of mine. It runs on both sides of my family and even on my husband’s side, so I was a complete wreck when I got the news over the phone and to make matters worse – I was still at work so I broke down in front of everyone!

It took awhile for me to pull myself together, but this is what I have decided and what I have told myself over and over throughout the day “I can handle this!” Of course there are risks for both the baby and myself, but I am going to do everything that I can to make sure we are both happy and healthy.Whatever changes need to be made I will make them.

This is just another side road that I have to take on this long journey of life, but I will take it in stride and come out on top with the help of family and friends.

Oh don’t be surprised if you see some recipes go up on this blog now since I have to cut out a lot of carbs and sugar. Besides I already found a recipe for Almond Butter Cookies that I have to try!

If you have had or know someone how has had GD please tell me how you handled the news in the comments below.

~Sarah