The Start of the New Year!

Since I get to enjoy the day off work for the new year, my little man is making sure I get to experience everything to the fullest. 

That means all his crazy mood swings, messes and general crazy! 

I wouldn’t have it any other way! 

Happy New Year everyone! 

  

Stress

My heart is stressed and I am battling fears.

Everyone has fears. Everyone deals with anxiety and stress, but for some reason I feel like we ignore these emotions in conversation.

I have been told to “suck it up,” or even better — I just don’t talk about them and I keep it bottled up inside.

As time passes I have learned that I am able to handle more and more stress and I use to think this was a good thing. I thought it meant I was maturing or becoming more of an adult, and then I gained clarity.

Yes, stress is a part of everyday life, but if you constantly allow the stress to build and never learn how to handle it properly, eventually you will snap.

Just like a rubber band most of us can stretch pretty far, but the further and further you pull the band from itself its integrity is compromised. It will snap back and cause pain and sometime it will break into multiple pieces that can never be put back together.

RubberBand

My nature is to plan. I always have a list of things to do and it is always prioritized. However there are times that list haunts me. If a task is left unchecked I can feel the weight of it on my mind, it causes me stress and I seek freedom. This is not the only reason that I stress, but it is one that is easily managed. If I can just conquer this, than maybe I can focus on another area. (Oops the planner in me just came out again 😛 )

Rubber bands may break, but they can also snap back into their original shape. I find this to be true in my life as well. I don’t want to go to the point of breaking, but sometimes I do need to be stretched. I need to be tested and I need to be pliable.

If I want to be free I must let go of stress and anxiety. I must snap back into place.

Easier said that done — that’s for sure. However, scripture is a tool through this battle and if used, I will be free.

Our stress and fears maybe different, but God is constant.

Here are three verses I keep repeating over and over and they have given me hope and instilled new faith into my heart.

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Through my struggles I am going to read scripture and remember that I am a child of the King.

My heart and prayers go out to anyone battling stress. Know that you are not alone and you will never walk alone.

Love,

Sarah

Change is Inevitable

Change

John C. Maxwell had it right — change will happen, but it is what you take from the change that causes growth. If you take nothing, you learn nothing.

It is as simple as that.

Life is changing for our little family. In fact, it hasn’t stopped changing. I will be the first to admit that change scares me and I will also admit that I am working on it.

If you aren’t moving forward what are you doing? You can’t sit still — you either move forward or you move back. I choose to move forward.

For some it is easy to focus on all of the negatives in our pasts and watch as hope gets smaller and smaller in our lives, but all that does is cause our outlook on life to change.  I know it is hard to look past the negative, but in life it is necessary. If we don’t, then we lose all hope and joy.

Adjustments have been made in our lives that we never once thought would happen. I am a full-time working mommy and Robert has embraced his role as a stay-at-home daddy.

Our little man is now 1-year old and it feels like just yesterday I was struggling with my pregnancy and {confusing} journey into motherhood. There isn’t a day that goes by that I think about the journey I have taken. There were more negatives than I would like to remember, a bunch of anger, tons of tears, and still some fear that it may all happen yet again.

Yet, I am choosing to grow from all of this. Robert is choosing to grow, and Tobias, well he is just growing — and fast!

Changes take time — I mentioned this before, but soon I will be starting a new blog/website that will be a lot of fun.  You will be able to get multiply points of view from our whole family and come along on our journey with us. I don’t know when the site will be ready, but until then I promise to keep writing. A promise more for myself than anything.

Much Love,

Sarah

Celebrate Life

Yesterday was a celebration of life. Not only did my family celebrate the 1st birthday for my son Tobias, we celebrated the goodness of God. We praised Him for his gift of life and for his mighty hand over us.

My husband and I welcome Tobias into this world at 5:09 am after a 36-hour long labor (my labor and delivery story). He was a healthy baby and to us, pure perfections. We couldn’t believe that God had picked us to be this child’s parents.

After almost losing my life the same day my son was born, I have chosen to cherish every moment of life with a fiery reverence. Having a child does change you — but it is how you choose to change that makes us who we are.

Photo taken by Coco Captures
Photo taken by Coco Captures
There are still issues that arise where I can’t control my tongue, emotions and I throw some serious attitude; but now I can honestly say that I have grown in patience, love, wisdom and a deeper understanding of life. I will admit, I am still working on it all! I don’t think I will every stop working on myself.

If you asked me 6 months ago how things were going, chances are I would break down in tears (Truth Time). There is still a chance of that happening today, but the emotions behind the tears are extremely different. My struggles with postpartum depression have also guided me toward the woman I have become, but there is no hiding that it was a dark time in my life and my families.

Finding joy in the little things and clinging to it, that is what has helped. Every day I find one, if not more, things to be joyful about. Through this God has been able to work in me, building our bond and opening up my heart once again.

Celebrate life today and find your joy in the little things. Remember that the only one who can steal your joy is you — it is ultimately your choice.

Tobias
Tobias dressed as Batman at the park for Halloween.

Much love,

Sarah

Food Fail

Last week and this week are full of craziness. Last week on Wednesday I thought for sure I was in labor – I wasn’t 😦

That was the first false alarm, but my contractions continued well into Saturday evening – and I don’t just mean a few here and there, I mean constant contractions that were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I was in and out of the hospital more times than I care to remember. I know most of the nurses thought I was crazy, but when they saw contractions registering then they shut up! However, there wasn’t enough going on to keep me, so home I went.

This process really drained me emotionally and physically. So I said screw the Gestational Diabetes I am making S’mores….well I attempted to make “oven s’mores dip.”

Here are the sad results:

IMG_1680Now it still tasted amazing, but it just wasn’t as pretty as I would have liked. I want to blame this on Cooper, like I do everything else, however this one was all the baby brain. I just forgot they were in the oven! And honestly they are only in there for a few minutes!

I was using Facetime to talk with my nieces and nephews and showing them Cooper’s new trick (Which is just sitting pretty, but he does it so well), and then the smoke alarms went off! I alerted the whole apartment complex to my food blunder!IMG_1682

Anyway the recipe is still a good one if you don’t have a bonfire to go to, so here it is just for fun.

What you will need:

A cast iron skillet or a Glass pie dish

Ingredients:

3 Tablespoons butter

1 cup chopped walnuts

1 bag of chocolate chips

Mini marshmallows

Graham crackers

Directions:

Set your oven to Broil on high, however if you have baby brain like me I recommend low.

In your cast iron skillet melt the butter. Once melted, add in chopped walnuts until they are toasted and fragrant.IMG_1676

Remove from the heat and add the chocolate chips. They will begin to melt right away, just let them be, I know that is the hard part.IMG_1677

Then top the chocolate with all of your marshmallows.IMG_1678

Place the cast iron in the oven for the marshmallows to toast. Once they are golden brown…or black like

mine…remove from the broiler and break off some of your graham crackers and enjoy!IMG_1681

I personally like to just dip mine in, but my husband like it better as a spread on the graham cracker. I will be honest too and admit that I am the one who burns marshmallows in the campfire anyway so I don’t think I failed  that badly 😛

NOTE: Another way to make this is to line a sheet pan with graham crackers and then place a chocolate bar on top with the marshmallow and then broil. Once the chocolate is melted and the marshmallow toasted, top with another graham cracker.

PREGNANCY UPDATE: Also, I know I keep saying I am going to post a picture of the baby’s nursery, but honestly as soon as I get something done, someone comes in and messes it up – like my mother who just has to leave all of her suitcases in the room for a few weeks!Mother_Daughter

I know my little guy will be making an appearance in the next few days – I just have a feeling, so you will all get to see the nursery and the baby very soon!

 

 

 

 

 

~Sarah

Ramblings of a Pregnant Woman!

Various things have been on my mind for the last few weeks. In fact I had so many of them that I couldn’t even pick one thing to talk about last week, so I didn’t even post…sorry if I disappointed anyone.

I have been in my nesting stage for a few weeks now, and it is exhausting, but that is mainly due to the fact that I am not at home most of the day. Working full-time and trying to prepare for a child does have its difficulties, but I am truly blessed to have the opportunity to work while pregnant, and I have a great team helping and encouraging me along the way.

Okay so here is what has been happening in my world:  My son “dropped,” I find this term to be hilarious – like he can really go anywhere, and it is the most pain I have felt in awhile. All through my pregnancy I have been carrying him high and since he moved lower, there is a lot of pressure on my hips. This has caused me to look like an old hag! My hands have to be on my back to help support me when I walk, and  I waddle like a duck – seriously little ducklings should be following behind me! 

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I am pathetic! Don’t get me wrong, I can handle the pain, but I feel as though I am the stereotypical pregnant woman that they show in movies. However, once I get some Tylenol in my system there is no holding back. I will get everything done that needs to get done, and I will still complete it faster than my husband (Not a bash on him, just stating fact), that is part of nesting I guess.

I still have baby clothes to wash, but I am happy to report that the hospital bags have finally been packed, as well as a few things for my loving husband! Hopefully the Cardinals are in the World Series again and then we can bring our son into this world on a game day, but if not I am packing Big Bang Theory! The nursery is almost complete, just a few final touches that will go up this weekend and I will be sure to post a photo next week of the nursery!

One issue that has been bothering me lately is Cooper. That puppy just won’t put up his toys (I know what you are thinking, “what kind of dog puts up his toys?” Well, he knows how and he has a toy box they are all suppose to go into), and for some reason my husband finds it to be the most entertaining thing to watch me squat down and pick up each toy. I know that it looks funny, I am sure I would laugh at myself too if I could see it – maybe I will video tap it for laughs later on.IMG_1642

Cooper also knows something is going on. He is being both sweet and a hot mess all at the same time, or at least it seems so  He is super cuddly, but the next second he says screw potty training and will pee in the house… on my carpet…:(

Other than the feeling of constant pain, dealing with puppy pee, and being the entertainment for my husband, life is grand. Tobias is kicking constantly and of course giving me loads of heartburn; a great reminder that I am helping to bring new life into the world.

I know challenges will continue to present themselves and I know that stress will come and go, but as long as I keep moving forward with God and Discovering My Heart I can get through it all.

The biggest thing I have learned about myself these last two weeks, is that woman are stronger than we are given credit for. I am dealing with a lot of stress physically, emotionally, and mentally and yet at the end of each day I am happy with my life. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Sarah

“Jesus looked at them intently and said, ‘Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.'” -Matthew 19:26  

Preparation…

“Preparation is key!” Not sure who was the first one to tell me this, but honestly I am starting to feel like it is a bunch of bull. It doesn’t matter how much I try to get organized and ready, I still don’t “feel” prepared. Even though most of my thoughts have been dealing with getting ready for the birth of my son, I feel this way in life often.

Are You Prepared

When my mother would take my brother and I back to school shopping it just seemed like it was always more stressful than just showing up our first day with a pad of paper and a pencil. I mean honestly, there would be something that wasn’t on the list and we would have to go back and repeated the whole process. So it really didn’t matter how prepared we thought we were, we always were missing something.

The Bible does talk in depth about preparation and I do think that it is a serious matter however, there is a huge difference in what I perceive as preparation and what God say’s in his word. When we try to prepare for our day, there is always going to be something missing if you didn’t fill your day with the love of God first. If God was not the first thing on your heart and you did not acknowledge him, then lets face it, you are not ready for the day.

I am not judging anyone, because I am totally guilty of forgetting or trying to do other things first. This is typically when I fall short and realize that I am nothing without God as the center of my life. Being prepared for the workday, and also being prepared for my child, although seem extremely important are nothing with out the guidance and direction the Lord provides.

Earlier this week I had my first nightmare about my son being born. I won’t go into to much detail, but I was not prepared and didn’t even have my son’s going home outfit (pictured below, so cute!) let alone his car seat.

Going home outfitSo in the dream they wouldn’t let me have my son, and were going to take him away from me because I wasn’t a “prepared” mother.

Needless to say I did not sleep well the rest of the night, I kept thinking about everything that needed to be done and everything that I was still missing. Especially things I needed that my husband and I cannot afford.

Just as I was starting to give myself a headache, I felt the presence of God wrap his love around me. He spoke the words that have echoed in my heart each day after having that dream, “These preparations are in vein if they don’t include me; let me show you what you need and lean on me. It is through me that you will not only have what you need, but the knowledge you need to raise this child I am blessing you with.”

I am honestly not one to cry often, except apparently when I am pregnant, but I broke down and cried in the bathroom as my husband continued to snore in our bedroom. I didn’t realize how much stress I was putting on myself to be perfect. The anxiety that I was feeling wasn’t just about the things I needed to be a good mom, it was about being a good mom. I allowed doubt to enter into my life simply because I didn’t feel I was prepared. There is no book you can buy that will tell you how to be the perfect mother, there are books that try but lets be realist! God is the only one who can teach and guide us to be who He has called us to be.

I know this may not seem that bad to some, but here is a sneak peak into my nursery. I will make sure to post an updated photo once I have it all done!

Preperation