Fighting For My Mind

Thinking

It is easy to fall into a rut and it doesn’t help when you have lost all motivation to try and climb out of it. In my experience, that is when Satan moves. He begins to whisper in my ear and as much as I try not to listen, I hear it.

He has been whispering…

I’m not worth anything.

I’m unloved and I am unworthy.

And since his games are not new I recognized them, but I wasn’t able to stop them from running ramped.

Over and over I ran those words through my mind and they slowly began attaching themselves.

Does my husband really love me?  

Why does he love me? 

I’m not worthy of love.

Why does God care about me when all I do is screw up?

These thoughts weighed heavy on my heart and they boggled my mind so that I was unable to think of anything that brought joy or clarity. This has been a daily occurrence for weeks and some of the things that happen throughout my day have pushed me deeper into the hole.

The thoughts are still there, lingering in the back of my mind. As I write this I can feel them bubbling up and trying to flood my senses with the failures that have happened over the last few weeks.

But something is different this time — I have chosen to focus on facts and not assumptions.

I know that my God is always good. He loves me and accepts me regardless of my shortcomings.

“He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” – Ephesians 1:5 NIV

A child doesn’t need to earn their parents love, it is just there and God has freely given his love to all of us, it is just up to us to accept it.

I woke up this morning and a sense of understanding washed back all the thoughts that were swirling in my mind.

I am enough and I am His.  Just that one thought liberated me from all the burdens that I had clung to.

Satan is a master at planting thoughts in our minds to make us doubt and we are the masters at using those thoughts to hold us back from the everlasting love of our Abba Father.

You are loved and you are enough.

Always remember that!

❤ Sarah

3 Ways I Conquer Fear

Fear is normal.

Fear is scary.

I will not let fear control me. As a planner, I try to control way too much. I plan my day, I plan my husband’s day, and of course I plan Tobias’ day. However, the day never goes as planned, and then all of a sudden I become fearful of the unknown.

My fear is what initially drove me to plan.

For the past few years I have been working on just going with the flow and letting things happen organically. Of course, I have failed on many occasions, but being more conscious of my desire to plan has helped.

Personal I find planning fun, but I also find it to be restricting. At work it is great and it is an asset. At home, it is just a distraction. Here are a few things that have helped me let go of my desire to plan while at home.

Find A Focus

BalanceWhen I focus on God and my family I tend to put aside my desire to plan the day. I will occasionally state, “I am not in control. My purpose is to worship and bring glory to God.” This helps me stay centered and to remember that there is a bigger plan at work and I don’t need to plan for God. He has everything under control. One way I do this is through daily meditation on the word and prayer.

If you are someone who is fearful of prayer I would recommend that you start just by reading the word and turning that into a pray. A good place to start is Psalm 91.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV

Eliminate Distractions

Distraction.jpgThere are so many things that can derail us from enjoying the day. Lets just start with technology. Yes, it is a great tool and I am all for social media and mind-numbing entertainment, but these things can keep us from really enjoying what life has to offer. I am not perfect and I don’t do this as much as I should, but if I am set on spending time with my family and enjoying all the fun moments, I will make sure to ignore my e-mails, stay off Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, so that I can immerse myself into my family and our adventures.

The same can be done with other distractions. Situations may arise that set the tone for the day. Someone woke up angry, frustrated, or just not feeling well. We all have had those days when we receive a call with some not so great news or a situation arises that really throws us of our game; it can be hard to put it all behind us. However, once it is out of the way you will be amazed at how great you feel. For me, I need to say things out loud so that I become more “self-aware,” so I will say something like, “I will not let this ruin my good day,” or “It is in the past and I can’t change the past, I can only change how this affects me.”

Remember You Are Not Alone

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Lack of planning can turn into fear for me rather quickly and it is important that when I become fearful I address it immediately. I do this through talking with God and confiding in my husband. I express my fear and through admitting it, I know I can conquer it.

I often find when I confess my fear that I am not alone, my husband may be dealing with a similar fear or anxiety and together we are able to approach God and find His peace over the situation.

Like I said earlier, I am not perfect and I still fail. Fear is real, but fear can be conquered.

Don’t let fear control you and your life.

Enjoy all the moments that come into your life and remember that each moment leads to you discovering your heart.

Like my Dad always says, “It is what it is!”

 

❤ Sarah

Stress

My heart is stressed and I am battling fears.

Everyone has fears. Everyone deals with anxiety and stress, but for some reason I feel like we ignore these emotions in conversation.

I have been told to “suck it up,” or even better — I just don’t talk about them and I keep it bottled up inside.

As time passes I have learned that I am able to handle more and more stress and I use to think this was a good thing. I thought it meant I was maturing or becoming more of an adult, and then I gained clarity.

Yes, stress is a part of everyday life, but if you constantly allow the stress to build and never learn how to handle it properly, eventually you will snap.

Just like a rubber band most of us can stretch pretty far, but the further and further you pull the band from itself its integrity is compromised. It will snap back and cause pain and sometime it will break into multiple pieces that can never be put back together.

RubberBand

My nature is to plan. I always have a list of things to do and it is always prioritized. However there are times that list haunts me. If a task is left unchecked I can feel the weight of it on my mind, it causes me stress and I seek freedom. This is not the only reason that I stress, but it is one that is easily managed. If I can just conquer this, than maybe I can focus on another area. (Oops the planner in me just came out again 😛 )

Rubber bands may break, but they can also snap back into their original shape. I find this to be true in my life as well. I don’t want to go to the point of breaking, but sometimes I do need to be stretched. I need to be tested and I need to be pliable.

If I want to be free I must let go of stress and anxiety. I must snap back into place.

Easier said that done — that’s for sure. However, scripture is a tool through this battle and if used, I will be free.

Our stress and fears maybe different, but God is constant.

Here are three verses I keep repeating over and over and they have given me hope and instilled new faith into my heart.

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Through my struggles I am going to read scripture and remember that I am a child of the King.

My heart and prayers go out to anyone battling stress. Know that you are not alone and you will never walk alone.

Love,

Sarah