Change is Inevitable

Change

John C. Maxwell had it right — change will happen, but it is what you take from the change that causes growth. If you take nothing, you learn nothing.

It is as simple as that.

Life is changing for our little family. In fact, it hasn’t stopped changing. I will be the first to admit that change scares me and I will also admit that I am working on it.

If you aren’t moving forward what are you doing? You can’t sit still — you either move forward or you move back. I choose to move forward.

For some it is easy to focus on all of the negatives in our pasts and watch as hope gets smaller and smaller in our lives, but all that does is cause our outlook on life to change.  I know it is hard to look past the negative, but in life it is necessary. If we don’t, then we lose all hope and joy.

Adjustments have been made in our lives that we never once thought would happen. I am a full-time working mommy and Robert has embraced his role as a stay-at-home daddy.

Our little man is now 1-year old and it feels like just yesterday I was struggling with my pregnancy and {confusing} journey into motherhood. There isn’t a day that goes by that I think about the journey I have taken. There were more negatives than I would like to remember, a bunch of anger, tons of tears, and still some fear that it may all happen yet again.

Yet, I am choosing to grow from all of this. Robert is choosing to grow, and Tobias, well he is just growing — and fast!

Changes take time — I mentioned this before, but soon I will be starting a new blog/website that will be a lot of fun.  You will be able to get multiply points of view from our whole family and come along on our journey with us. I don’t know when the site will be ready, but until then I promise to keep writing. A promise more for myself than anything.

Much Love,

Sarah

Celebrate Life

Yesterday was a celebration of life. Not only did my family celebrate the 1st birthday for my son Tobias, we celebrated the goodness of God. We praised Him for his gift of life and for his mighty hand over us.

My husband and I welcome Tobias into this world at 5:09 am after a 36-hour long labor (my labor and delivery story). He was a healthy baby and to us, pure perfections. We couldn’t believe that God had picked us to be this child’s parents.

After almost losing my life the same day my son was born, I have chosen to cherish every moment of life with a fiery reverence. Having a child does change you — but it is how you choose to change that makes us who we are.

Photo taken by Coco Captures
Photo taken by Coco Captures
There are still issues that arise where I can’t control my tongue, emotions and I throw some serious attitude; but now I can honestly say that I have grown in patience, love, wisdom and a deeper understanding of life. I will admit, I am still working on it all! I don’t think I will every stop working on myself.

If you asked me 6 months ago how things were going, chances are I would break down in tears (Truth Time). There is still a chance of that happening today, but the emotions behind the tears are extremely different. My struggles with postpartum depression have also guided me toward the woman I have become, but there is no hiding that it was a dark time in my life and my families.

Finding joy in the little things and clinging to it, that is what has helped. Every day I find one, if not more, things to be joyful about. Through this God has been able to work in me, building our bond and opening up my heart once again.

Celebrate life today and find your joy in the little things. Remember that the only one who can steal your joy is you — it is ultimately your choice.

Tobias
Tobias dressed as Batman at the park for Halloween.

Much love,

Sarah

Family Updates!

As much as I would love to sit down and blog daily – heck even weekly would be fine with me- my schedule just hasn’t allowed it to happen. I feel like so many things have occurred in the last few weeks, so I will do my best to state them all.

First off, I wrote last about how I was battling depression and I am happy to report that it is now completely gone. There were a lot of factors that assisted with helping me escape the never-ending black hole, but at least I am out of the tunnel.

In other news, my husband and I have been given the opportunity for me to pursue my dream job. Recently I accepted a new job position and I just finished my first workweek. I am in love, and I hope the love I feel for this job continues.

Swanky new office!
Swanky new office!

That does mean though that for now my husband will be a SAHD (Stay-at-home-dad). So there maybe a shift in my blog to a full blown website with both my husband and I.

"Hey Dad, what are you doing in my bed?"
“Hey Dad, what are you doing in my bed?”
Tobias and his Daddy hanging out in his crib.
Tobias and his Daddy hanging out in his crib.

After a few months of late-night tears and constant crying we thought for sure Tobias had some teeth coming in, but no such luck. Poor kid is still toothless, but at least I still get plenty of those gummy-grins everyone loves!

Happy boy!
Happy boy!

Tobias is trying so hard to  walk without assistance. He has taken about 10 steps all by himself, then he will just fall to the ground and smile up at you with a big cheesy grin. He has also learned how to fake cough and sneeze to get your attention…I am not a fan of the fake coughing 😦

There is plenty more that has been happening, but I don’t want to bore you.

I hope everyone had a great Labor Day!

~Sarah

Make Every Moment Count

Make every moment count; I have heard this saying so many times that it began to lose its meaning, but now I have been re-awakened to the idea. When I was a teenager I took the moments and seized them (carpe diem), but they were for superficial things. Honestly, now I can only remember a handful of things that I did as a teenage that still hold significance in my life today.

In my college years I took advantage of everything I could; clubs, extra courses in different fields of study, parties, and internships. I thought that if I made these moments count then I would have success in life. Yes, in a way it is true that I have success in life because of what I did in college, but it is not the success that I dreamed of. Most of these moments are not significant anymore and hold no permanent spot in my heart.

Daddy/Daughter moment!
Daddy/Daughter moment!

My father use to say that worrying about the future would just make the future more daunting and instead I should just enjoy my life; I use to laugh at him. I thought that the more I took advantage of the moments given, than my future would be secured – truth is I was taking advantage of the wrong moments.

A mistake I hope to correct in my life now.

I was always looking for profit and gain. Whether it was improving my social status in high school, or being an overachiever in college, I missed the big picture – to live a life worth remembering.

When you finally come to that point in your life when you realize that the things that once mattered no longer do your thinking begins to change. I remember fights with my parents all through high school. I would yell and scream, I would even try to “punish” them by making them feel guilty, but for the life of me I cannot remember why I was doing these things. Whatever it was it matted to me then, but not now. I grabbed the wrong moments to seize.

I recently told my husband that we waste a lot of energy getting upset. At first he just stared at me, then he agreed. It took us 26 years, but we finally get why our parents always smirked when we got mad.

Personally I only saw my parents get mad, and I mean really mad, a few time. I remember asking my dad why he would walk away in the middle of a debate with my mother and his response was always, “You have to pick your battles,” and “it isn’t worth the energy. I would just be doing more damage.” So dad, I finally understand, sorry it took so long! Thank you for the lesson, it is one I hope to teach to my children.

I don’t want to seize the moments that will scar my memories, I don’t want to look back and only remember the yelling (which in this situation was directed at a puppy who decided to eat nail clippers).

Cooper attempting to look innocent!
Cooper attempting to look innocent!

I want to remember that I laughed so hard that tears poured down my face at a joke my husband told me. I want to remember all of the joy that I experience when I hold and play with my son.

Yes, the big moments in life matter, but so does the “smaller” moments. The everyday moments are worth being remembered and if you are too overwhelmed with life and trying to achieve success you may miss them.

Money will always be there and so will jobs, but life isn’t about making a living, it’s about making a life!

This memory is one I will always hold close.
This memory is one I will always hold close.

I hope you all take the time today to create lasting memories and live your life to the fullest!

~Sarah

Colossians 1:10 – “so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,”

Let’s Talk About Babies and Crying…

Being a new mom you get advice all the time, and I do mean all the time! Most of the advice I get comes from strangers and for some odd reason it occurs at Walmart the most. Its like women can smell a new mom, and like a hunting tiger they attack!Tiger

I get the everyday advice like how to stop a baby crying – mostly because my son is crying when we are in the store, but it isn’t like the stranger is being sweet and trying to help. They are judging! I see behind those fake smiles people and yes I have heard the under-the-breathe comments like “my baby never cried,” the “I can’t believe she hasn’t stopped that baby from crying yet,” or my personally favorite, “this is why kids should be left at home.”

What did they just say about me?
What did they just say about me?

Now I am not being bitter, honestly I find all of these comments to be hilarious and I hear them a lot! Here is my take on babies crying in public- he is a baby and guess what – he cries! Just like you are taking time and energy to express your feelings about my son to me, my son is taking time and energy to express his feelings as well. His articulation is perfect it’s just that he doesn’t know the words yet.

You say your baby never cried…I doubt that. Unless of course you kept shoving a bottle or pacifier into their mouths, which I personally think is cruel. Children need to learn to develop their own voice and this starts with crying. As far as I am concerned if my baby is fed, changed, I am holding him and he is crying, then he must need to cry – get over it people! Babies cry, end of story.

They just can't see it...
They just can’t see it…

Remember that anyone can give advice, that doesn’t mean you are obligated to take it. When it comes to children it typically takes awhile for new parents to realize that everyone has an opinion and will shove it down your throat. I was blessed to have an older brother who has 3 children and was able to learn this lesson early on.

New parents stand your ground and don’t worry about the others around you. If your child is crying in a public place don’t let the haters get to you. As long as you care for your son or daughter and love them unconditionally than you are a great parent! Keep doing what you are doing!

 ~Sarah

Becoming an Adult – Age is Just a Number

Peter De Vries has one of my favorite quotes about marriage and becoming an adult, “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.” If you think about this, it is scary true! Just because you are over a certain age doesn’t make you an adult.

I always have thought that I was mature, but in all reality I was just selfish (Yes, I am admitting it). Having a child is a great equalizer. It doesn’t matter what job you had before becoming a parent or how much money you make, you are now mommy and daddy. Through parenthood you have now been bonded to other parents and congratulations – you are in the club. But surprise – there are no quick fixes and all the advice in the world cannot prepare you for those sleepless nights and all the heart wrenching cries you hear escape the mouth of your child.

Yes, you may attend important meetings and have coffee delivered to you by an intern and feel that you are important, but now you are the most important person in the world; you are a parent and you mean everything to that child!

It is time to put down the mocha and pick up a package of diapers; skip that “important” meeting and watch your child take his/her first steps. Life is now, more than ever, about sacrifice.Sleepy head

I will gladly sacrifice my own comfort so that my son can finally get some good quality sleep, even if it is on my chest or in my arms. Yes, I will complain later that I am tired, hungry and haven’t showered yet today, but as soon as he smiles up at me it is all worth it and believe me, he cries A LOT!

I was not an adult when I graduated from college. I wasn’t even full an adult when I got married, but I did become an adult the day I brought my son home from the hospital. My life became about sacrifice and never ending love.

We were given the perfect example of adulthood in the Bible. God gave up His Son and His Son gave up His life so that we could choose to have everlasting life through Him. Now I don’t want to get all preachy, but honestly I never saw it that way until I became a parent. Giving yourself over to another takes a lot of trust and patience. You are no longer your own, now you have a “little” person to look after.
So far the hardest thing for me has been discovering my son’s personality and coming to terms with the fact that my idea of parenthood is not what he has in mind. I have lost numerous hours in a day thinking I was a bad mother because I couldn’t figure out what he wanted, now I know that I have to slow down and look at things from his perspective. He is a person and already he has his likes and dislikes I just had to figure them out.

For example, every time I gave my son a bath he screamed his head off and I couldn’t figure out why. I thought for sure he would love bath time. After going through the different scenarios, I learned that it isn’t the water he hates, but rather the cold plastic tub we put in him for the bath. Eliminate the tub = enjoying bath time ☺

Fist Smile
Fist Smile

I am not perfect though, and my poor husband has watched me break down on a number of occasions, but with practice and patience we are starting to see our son’s personality form. Discovering my son’s personality helps me discover who I am more and more. This journey is one that is never-ending and even through the tough parts I am thrilled at the chance to discover my heart.

If you are a parent please share what surprised you about your child’s personalities in the comment section below. Also don’t forget to subscribe for more updates about the chaos of being a new parent and the journey of Discovering My Heart!

Food Fail

Last week and this week are full of craziness. Last week on Wednesday I thought for sure I was in labor – I wasn’t 😦

That was the first false alarm, but my contractions continued well into Saturday evening – and I don’t just mean a few here and there, I mean constant contractions that were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I was in and out of the hospital more times than I care to remember. I know most of the nurses thought I was crazy, but when they saw contractions registering then they shut up! However, there wasn’t enough going on to keep me, so home I went.

This process really drained me emotionally and physically. So I said screw the Gestational Diabetes I am making S’mores….well I attempted to make “oven s’mores dip.”

Here are the sad results:

IMG_1680Now it still tasted amazing, but it just wasn’t as pretty as I would have liked. I want to blame this on Cooper, like I do everything else, however this one was all the baby brain. I just forgot they were in the oven! And honestly they are only in there for a few minutes!

I was using Facetime to talk with my nieces and nephews and showing them Cooper’s new trick (Which is just sitting pretty, but he does it so well), and then the smoke alarms went off! I alerted the whole apartment complex to my food blunder!IMG_1682

Anyway the recipe is still a good one if you don’t have a bonfire to go to, so here it is just for fun.

What you will need:

A cast iron skillet or a Glass pie dish

Ingredients:

3 Tablespoons butter

1 cup chopped walnuts

1 bag of chocolate chips

Mini marshmallows

Graham crackers

Directions:

Set your oven to Broil on high, however if you have baby brain like me I recommend low.

In your cast iron skillet melt the butter. Once melted, add in chopped walnuts until they are toasted and fragrant.IMG_1676

Remove from the heat and add the chocolate chips. They will begin to melt right away, just let them be, I know that is the hard part.IMG_1677

Then top the chocolate with all of your marshmallows.IMG_1678

Place the cast iron in the oven for the marshmallows to toast. Once they are golden brown…or black like

mine…remove from the broiler and break off some of your graham crackers and enjoy!IMG_1681

I personally like to just dip mine in, but my husband like it better as a spread on the graham cracker. I will be honest too and admit that I am the one who burns marshmallows in the campfire anyway so I don’t think I failed  that badly 😛

NOTE: Another way to make this is to line a sheet pan with graham crackers and then place a chocolate bar on top with the marshmallow and then broil. Once the chocolate is melted and the marshmallow toasted, top with another graham cracker.

PREGNANCY UPDATE: Also, I know I keep saying I am going to post a picture of the baby’s nursery, but honestly as soon as I get something done, someone comes in and messes it up – like my mother who just has to leave all of her suitcases in the room for a few weeks!Mother_Daughter

I know my little guy will be making an appearance in the next few days – I just have a feeling, so you will all get to see the nursery and the baby very soon!

 

 

 

 

 

~Sarah