“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950)
I’m not perfect and honestly, no one is.
Go ahead you can admit it too!
Mistakes will happen and handling them can be a challenge.
I recently made a huge communication no-no by missing a spelling error on a publication.
To some, this may not seem like a big deal, but when it’s your boss sending out the documents and catching all the flak for the errors – it can feel like the whole world is crashing down on you in that moment.
I corrected the errors and sent out the correct documents, but that didn’t stop the crushing feelings that I had.
The truth though is that my failure can be put behind me. Mistakes happen, they will always happen.
They happen at work, they happen in marriage, heck they even happen when we are trying to be a good parent.
It isn’t the mistake that defines us; it’s how we choose to overcome them.
I was raised to take responsibility for my mistakes. So I apologize for the mistake, I correct the mistake and I do my best to get my emotions in check, which is sometimes the hardest part – no one likes failing.
Really want I want to say is it’s totally fine to mess up, it’s a natural part of life. If we were all perfect we would be boring and we wouldn’t grow.
I will not let fear control me. As a planner, I try to control way too much. I plan my day, I plan my husband’s day, and of course I plan Tobias’ day. However, the day never goes as planned, and then all of a sudden I become fearful of the unknown.
My fear is what initially drove me to plan.
For the past few years I have been working on just going with the flow and letting things happen organically. Of course, I have failed on many occasions, but being more conscious of my desire to plan has helped.
Personal I find planning fun, but I also find it to be restricting. At work it is great and it is an asset. At home, it is just a distraction. Here are a few things that have helped me let go of my desire to plan while at home.
Find A Focus
When I focus on God and my family I tend to put aside my desire to plan the day. I will occasionally state, “I am not in control. My purpose is to worship and bring glory to God.” This helps me stay centered and to remember that there is a bigger plan at work and I don’t need to plan for God. He has everything under control. One way I do this is through daily meditation on the word and prayer.
If you are someone who is fearful of prayer I would recommend that you start just by reading the word and turning that into a pray. A good place to start is Psalm 91.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV
There are so many things that can derail us from enjoying the day. Lets just start with technology. Yes, it is a great tool and I am all for social media and mind-numbing entertainment, but these things can keep us from really enjoying what life has to offer. I am not perfect and I don’t do this as much as I should, but if I am set on spending time with my family and enjoying all the fun moments, I will make sure to ignore my e-mails, stay off Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, so that I can immerse myself into my family and our adventures.
The same can be done with other distractions. Situations may arise that set the tone for the day. Someone woke up angry, frustrated, or just not feeling well. We all have had those days when we receive a call with some not so great news or a situation arises that really throws us of our game; it can be hard to put it all behind us. However, once it is out of the way you will be amazed at how great you feel. For me, I need to say things out loud so that I become more “self-aware,” so I will say something like, “I will not let this ruin my good day,” or “It is in the past and I can’t change the past, I can only change how this affects me.”
Remember You Are Not Alone
Lack of planning can turn into fear for me rather quickly and it is important that when I become fearful I address it immediately. I do this through talking with God and confiding in my husband. I express my fear and through admitting it, I know I can conquer it.
I often find when I confess my fear that I am not alone, my husband may be dealing with a similar fear or anxiety and together we are able to approach God and find His peace over the situation.
Like I said earlier, I am not perfect and I still fail. Fear is real, but fear can be conquered.
Don’t let fear control you and your life.
Enjoy all the moments that come into your life and remember that each moment leads to you discovering your heart.
Tobias has been sick constantly, and we have been in and out of the doctor’s office and hospital since he has been born. It feels never-ending sometimes.
About a week ago Tobias was admitted into the hospital for an abscess that formed on his neck. Originally it was just a swollen lymph node.
The abscess got so large that my son couldn’t turn his head without being in pain. So surgery was needed to drain the abscess.
In an adult, it would be call a minor surgery, but for a 3 month old (4 months now) it is a pretty big deal since they have to put him under.
Tobias did great and healed quickly, but I was a mess. I couldn’t believe that he had to be hospitalized so young.
Of course there was more going on that we didn’t know. He became resistant to the antibiotics, and there was a mess of doctors and surgeons calling telling us what we needed to do.
The calls lasted for a full week, each time it was a different doctor – talk about a headache.
Poor kid was on three antibiotics before we got the right one in his system.
Life is full of challenges, and problem solving has become a great skill of mine, but throughout this whole process I saw a part of me that I wish didn’t exist.
Now yes, I care about my son and his well-being, but I couldn’t help thinking about all the bad things that seem to keep happening to me and my family lately.
I will not go into detail because well… it’s the Internet and I am smarter than that! 🙂
The point is I wasn’t letting God be exalted in my life. I was more focused on my own feelings and emotions than on God and what he desires.
It may not seem like that big of a deal to some, but to me discovering this really stopped me in my tracks.
Giving It To God
This process doesn’t happen over night, but it is important that each day I speak aloud, “God, I give it all to you. Your will be done Father.”
Luke 9:23 “Then he said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.’”
I truly believe there is power when we speak it out. Just like there is power when we pray scripture.
Every time I pray this I feel the burden being lifted off, and I can see clearly.
This isn’t a process that can be stopped after one day. We as humans are selfish in nature and I know it can be hard to remove the focus from ourselves, especially when society rewards those who are self-seeking and those who work for their own gain.
However, the reward we receive from God is much greater.
Being challenged isn’t a bad thing. Accepting to get through the challenge breeds good character and forces you to grow as an individual. And I don’t know about you, but I aways want be growing!
I will leave you with some of my favorite quotes that I hope inspire you as much as they inspire me.
Peter De Vries has one of my favorite quotes about marriage and becoming an adult, “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.” If you think about this, it is scary true! Just because you are over a certain age doesn’t make you an adult.
I always have thought that I was mature, but in all reality I was just selfish (Yes, I am admitting it). Having a child is a great equalizer. It doesn’t matter what job you had before becoming a parent or how much money you make, you are now mommy and daddy. Through parenthood you have now been bonded to other parents and congratulations – you are in the club. But surprise – there are no quick fixes and all the advice in the world cannot prepare you for those sleepless nights and all the heart wrenching cries you hear escape the mouth of your child.
Yes, you may attend important meetings and have coffee delivered to you by an intern and feel that you are important, but now you are the most important person in the world; you are a parent and you mean everything to that child!
It is time to put down the mocha and pick up a package of diapers; skip that “important” meeting and watch your child take his/her first steps. Life is now, more than ever, about sacrifice.
I will gladly sacrifice my own comfort so that my son can finally get some good quality sleep, even if it is on my chest or in my arms. Yes, I will complain later that I am tired, hungry and haven’t showered yet today, but as soon as he smiles up at me it is all worth it and believe me, he cries A LOT!
I was not an adult when I graduated from college. I wasn’t even full an adult when I got married, but I did become an adult the day I brought my son home from the hospital. My life became about sacrifice and never ending love.
We were given the perfect example of adulthood in the Bible. God gave up His Son and His Son gave up His life so that we could choose to have everlasting life through Him. Now I don’t want to get all preachy, but honestly I never saw it that way until I became a parent. Giving yourself over to another takes a lot of trust and patience. You are no longer your own, now you have a “little” person to look after.
So far the hardest thing for me has been discovering my son’s personality and coming to terms with the fact that my idea of parenthood is not what he has in mind. I have lost numerous hours in a day thinking I was a bad mother because I couldn’t figure out what he wanted, now I know that I have to slow down and look at things from his perspective. He is a person and already he has his likes and dislikes I just had to figure them out.
For example, every time I gave my son a bath he screamed his head off and I couldn’t figure out why. I thought for sure he would love bath time. After going through the different scenarios, I learned that it isn’t the water he hates, but rather the cold plastic tub we put in him for the bath. Eliminate the tub = enjoying bath time ☺
I am not perfect though, and my poor husband has watched me break down on a number of occasions, but with practice and patience we are starting to see our son’s personality form. Discovering my son’s personality helps me discover who I am more and more. This journey is one that is never-ending and even through the tough parts I am thrilled at the chance to discover my heart.
If you are a parent please sharewhat surprised you about your child’s personalities in the comment section below. Also don’t forget to subscribe for more updates about the chaos of being a new parent and the journey of Discovering My Heart!
Various things have been on my mind for the last few weeks. In fact I had so many of them that I couldn’t even pick one thing to talk about last week, so I didn’t even post…sorry if I disappointed anyone.
I have been in my nesting stage for a few weeks now, and it is exhausting, but that is mainly due to the fact that I am not at home most of the day. Working full-time and trying to prepare for a child does have its difficulties, but I am truly blessed to have the opportunity to work while pregnant, and I have a great team helping and encouraging me along the way.
Okay so here is what has been happening in my world: My son “dropped,” I find this term to be hilarious – like he can really go anywhere, and it is the most pain I have felt in awhile. All through my pregnancy I have been carrying him high and since he moved lower, there is a lot of pressure on my hips. This has caused me to look like an old hag! My hands have to be on my back to help support me when I walk, and I waddle like a duck – seriously little ducklings should be following behind me!
I am pathetic! Don’t get me wrong, I can handle the pain, but I feel as though I am the stereotypical pregnant woman that they show in movies. However, once I get some Tylenol in my system there is no holding back. I will get everything done that needs to get done, and I will still complete it faster than my husband (Not a bash on him, just stating fact), that is part of nesting I guess.
I still have baby clothes to wash, but I am happy to report that the hospital bags have finally been packed, as well as a few things for my loving husband! Hopefully the Cardinals are in the World Series again and then we can bring our son into this world on a game day, but if not I am packing Big Bang Theory! The nursery is almost complete, just a few final touches that will go up this weekend and I will be sure to post a photo next week of the nursery!
One issue that has been bothering me lately is Cooper. That puppy just won’t put up his toys (I know what you are thinking, “what kind of dog puts up his toys?” Well, he knows how and he has a toy box they are all suppose to go into), and for some reason my husband finds it to be the most entertaining thing to watch me squat down and pick up each toy. I know that it looks funny, I am sure I would laugh at myself too if I could see it – maybe I will video tap it for laughs later on.
Cooper also knows something is going on. He is being both sweet and a hot mess all at the same time, or at least it seems so He is super cuddly, but the next second he says screw potty training and will pee in the house… on my carpet…:(
Other than the feeling of constant pain, dealing with puppy pee, and being the entertainment for my husband, life is grand. Tobias is kicking constantly and of course giving me loads of heartburn; a great reminder that I am helping to bring new life into the world.
I know challenges will continue to present themselves and I know that stress will come and go, but as long as I keep moving forward with God and Discovering My Heart I can get through it all.
The biggest thing I have learned about myself these last two weeks, is that woman are stronger than we are given credit for. I am dealing with a lot of stress physically, emotionally, and mentally and yet at the end of each day I am happy with my life. I wouldn’t change a thing.
“Jesus looked at them intently and said, ‘Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.'” -Matthew 19:26