Life Update

Let’s be real, I’m a terrible blogger.

Thank goodness I do this for myself and my own sanity, and not as a business!

I want to give a life updated since it has been so long. My lovely family and I are going from a family of three to a family of four!

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Robert and I haven’t decided if we are going to find out the gender or not. I know the control freak in some maybe going crazy, but really there aren’t a lot of surprises in life and it could be fun to have a surprise.

There is always the chance that we will find out…who knows!

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That was the happy update, the sad is that I recently lost my grandmother. She means the world to me and has done a lot to help me grow into the person I am. She taught me about saving money, working hard, being dedicated to my family and even telling me, very bluntly, what my talents weren’t. Her departure from this world has left a hole in my heart and soul.

She means the world to me and has done a lot to help me grow into the person I am. She taught me about saving money, working hard, being dedicated to my family and even telling me, very bluntly, what my talents weren’t. Her departure from this world has left a hole in my heart and soul.

Her departure from this world has left a hole in my heart and soul.

The way I talk and view death is difficult for some of my family and friends to understand and it has caused a few hiccups in coping.

There are moments that I have moved on and moments when I feel as though I can’t breathe and the world is zipping past me.

Because of this, I have had a hard time regaining my “life-balance,” which was on a thread to begin with.

I have put off writing since things have been so hectic, but I know that I need to express some emotion if I am to find my balance again.

Hopefully one day I will become a more consistent blogger, but for now, I am happy to just document my journey and see where it takes me.

❤ Sarah

Let Him Be Dad!

My husband, Robert, tends to be a quite person, but there are times when his words linger with me and I cannot help but reflect on them.

Our son is a momma’s boy—I am the one to do everything for him. Not because Robert doesn’t want to, but rather Tobias doesn’t want him too.

Life would be so much easier if the kid would let someone other than me change him! 😛

Last night Tobias decided he wanted to cuddle on the couch with his daddy, and it was the sweetest moment. I was crossing the room about to sit on the couch to enjoy the family time when my husband stopped me.

“Don’t take this from me,” he said.

That was enough to stop me.

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For a split, second I wanted to get upset because I was tried and wanted to relax with the rest of them, but then I understood.

The reality is, if I had sat on the couch Tobias would have come over and asked to sit on my lap. This would have killed that rare moment Robert had with him.

There was no anger or malice in his tone, but rather a man just wanting to be involved in his child’s life.

This exchange opened my eyes to times I may have inadvertently taken a moment from him, just because I am “mommy.”

I let the thoughts fade and went into another room to relax so they could have some Father-Son time and honestly, I am glad I didn’t get worked up over Robert’s words.

It is important that my child has a great relationship with his daddy. There are times that I need to just leave the room and give them a chance to bond.

it is hard to distance myself from Tobias. After all, he is my son, but I don’t want to take away a chance for him and Robert to have a strong relationship.

Robert is a great father, and I can see how my presence can take those oh-so-sweet moments with his child away.

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I will do my best to never take moments like this away every again!

❤ Sarah

Fighting For My Mind

Thinking

It is easy to fall into a rut and it doesn’t help when you have lost all motivation to try and climb out of it. In my experience, that is when Satan moves. He begins to whisper in my ear and as much as I try not to listen, I hear it.

He has been whispering…

I’m not worth anything.

I’m unloved and I am unworthy.

And since his games are not new I recognized them, but I wasn’t able to stop them from running ramped.

Over and over I ran those words through my mind and they slowly began attaching themselves.

Does my husband really love me?  

Why does he love me? 

I’m not worthy of love.

Why does God care about me when all I do is screw up?

These thoughts weighed heavy on my heart and they boggled my mind so that I was unable to think of anything that brought joy or clarity. This has been a daily occurrence for weeks and some of the things that happen throughout my day have pushed me deeper into the hole.

The thoughts are still there, lingering in the back of my mind. As I write this I can feel them bubbling up and trying to flood my senses with the failures that have happened over the last few weeks.

But something is different this time — I have chosen to focus on facts and not assumptions.

I know that my God is always good. He loves me and accepts me regardless of my shortcomings.

“He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” – Ephesians 1:5 NIV

A child doesn’t need to earn their parents love, it is just there and God has freely given his love to all of us, it is just up to us to accept it.

I woke up this morning and a sense of understanding washed back all the thoughts that were swirling in my mind.

I am enough and I am His.  Just that one thought liberated me from all the burdens that I had clung to.

Satan is a master at planting thoughts in our minds to make us doubt and we are the masters at using those thoughts to hold us back from the everlasting love of our Abba Father.

You are loved and you are enough.

Always remember that!

❤ Sarah