Kids are great, but sometimes you can feel your sanity slipping away. For me, this is especially true when I should be asleep. Every parent can relate, I’m sure!
Last night was one of those nights where all my patience vanished.
Poor Tobias, I know he was tired, but he just couldn’t fall asleep. I tried everything: Rocking, walking with him, letting him cry it out etc.—nothing worked!
Just when I thought things were calming down he would wake back up. You know what I mean, right? You finally find that comfortable position and it’s like they know! As soon as I relaxed–BAM the crying started!
Now typically we would let him fall back asleep on his own, but he was keeping our neighbors awake (the downside to living in an apartment).
I lost my mind last night and parent guilt took over (and yes it truly is a thing).
“What if he is sick?”
“What if he is teething?”
“You can’t even calm your own child.”
All these things ran through my head along with…
“I just want sleep.”
“Oh my gosh child, just calm down.”
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”
Tobias and I ended up on the couch around 4 am this morning, and finally he fell asleep. Soon after my alarm went off so that I could get everything ready for the day. I had no motivation to move. That is when I looked over at my sleeping, almost two-year-old and whispered “I am indeed blessed.”
God made children cute for a reason people! So that when you are at your wits end they will do something that you can’t help but smile at. It’s like magic! You can have all your anger built up and then WHAM there is that cute smile and a hug and kiss. Melts my heart.
Parents you know what I am talking about!
Last night it was seeing him finally fall asleep and just knowing that I was entrusted with this strong-willed toddler for a reason. I was chosen to be his mother. And even thought I was sleep deprived I was still on duty.
Psalms 127:3-4 (NIV) “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.”
The old cliché is true, we do have to take it one day at a time and even one moment at a time.
With each movement my heart grows a little bigger and my life is a little brighter.