It’s inevitable that when you are content and happy with how life is going there is a curve ball thrown. Not only is it coming toward you — it’s coming to bowl you over. Just know, it’s ok to fall, but you have a choice of getting back up.
Throughout my pregnancy, things have been going extremely well other than once again dealing with gestational diabetes. My lovely baby is growing properly, I haven’t gained too much weight and everything is on track.
My curveball is that I may not be able to deliver my baby the way I intended with a VBAC, but there is also the possibility that I could. This is all due to the uncertainty of my gestational diabetes and the risks that come with prolonging my pregnancy. Unlike other moms who can wait until the baby is ready, that puts me and the baby at a great risk of complications.
Talk about playing with a hormonal pregnant women’s emotions!
I’ve been working on being more present in life and to stop focusing on things I cannot control, this has gone a long way, I think, with my family and the amount of stress I have taken off of them because I have taken it off myself.
I have been enjoying all the small moments of each day, every laugh, every tickle fight and all the tantrums and stubbornness that teaches me that I am raising a strong-willed and caring toddler.
This strategy of slowing down has done so much for my anxiety as well and now I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything. However, today’s doctors’ appointment almost ruined my mindset.
Not stressing out the future has been oddly freeing and I have embraced it these last few weeks. When I heard that there could be complications with my pregnancy after just hearing that I was doing so well, I felt the panic rise in my chest. It almost took root in my mind and I could feel the virus of stress wanting to take over.
Thankfully, this morning I remember hearing God say to me “be anxious for nothing, and pray about everything.”
One of my goals this week was to find joy in every moment and his words I took as a reinforcement of that goal.
It is so true that Satan and life try to steal our joy. I have been so happy these last few weeks and that was a moment that could have destroyed it all, but I won’t let it.
I cannot control the future.
I cannot dictate when this baby will be born.
I cannot make my desires a reality.
But I can control who I give power to.
Everything is better in God’s hands and as I come to terms with reality I am more comforted by His ability to be my protector, my healer, my Abba Father than I was this morning.
My faith in His ability will not wavier.
I will rejoice in the Lord always.
Find joy in every moment and cling to the promises of God. Do not let anything steal your joy!