Let Him Be Dad!

My husband, Robert, tends to be a quite person, but there are times when his words linger with me and I cannot help but reflect on them.

Our son is a momma’s boy—I am the one to do everything for him. Not because Robert doesn’t want to, but rather Tobias doesn’t want him too.

Life would be so much easier if the kid would let someone other than me change him! 😛

Last night Tobias decided he wanted to cuddle on the couch with his daddy, and it was the sweetest moment. I was crossing the room about to sit on the couch to enjoy the family time when my husband stopped me.

“Don’t take this from me,” he said.

That was enough to stop me.

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For a split, second I wanted to get upset because I was tried and wanted to relax with the rest of them, but then I understood.

The reality is, if I had sat on the couch Tobias would have come over and asked to sit on my lap. This would have killed that rare moment Robert had with him.

There was no anger or malice in his tone, but rather a man just wanting to be involved in his child’s life.

This exchange opened my eyes to times I may have inadvertently taken a moment from him, just because I am “mommy.”

I let the thoughts fade and went into another room to relax so they could have some Father-Son time and honestly, I am glad I didn’t get worked up over Robert’s words.

It is important that my child has a great relationship with his daddy. There are times that I need to just leave the room and give them a chance to bond.

it is hard to distance myself from Tobias. After all, he is my son, but I don’t want to take away a chance for him and Robert to have a strong relationship.

Robert is a great father, and I can see how my presence can take those oh-so-sweet moments with his child away.

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I will do my best to never take moments like this away every again!

❤ Sarah

Fighting For My Mind

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It is easy to fall into a rut and it doesn’t help when you have lost all motivation to try and climb out of it. In my experience, that is when Satan moves. He begins to whisper in my ear and as much as I try not to listen, I hear it.

He has been whispering…

I’m not worth anything.

I’m unloved and I am unworthy.

And since his games are not new I recognized them, but I wasn’t able to stop them from running ramped.

Over and over I ran those words through my mind and they slowly began attaching themselves.

Does my husband really love me?  

Why does he love me? 

I’m not worthy of love.

Why does God care about me when all I do is screw up?

These thoughts weighed heavy on my heart and they boggled my mind so that I was unable to think of anything that brought joy or clarity. This has been a daily occurrence for weeks and some of the things that happen throughout my day have pushed me deeper into the hole.

The thoughts are still there, lingering in the back of my mind. As I write this I can feel them bubbling up and trying to flood my senses with the failures that have happened over the last few weeks.

But something is different this time — I have chosen to focus on facts and not assumptions.

I know that my God is always good. He loves me and accepts me regardless of my shortcomings.

“He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” – Ephesians 1:5 NIV

A child doesn’t need to earn their parents love, it is just there and God has freely given his love to all of us, it is just up to us to accept it.

I woke up this morning and a sense of understanding washed back all the thoughts that were swirling in my mind.

I am enough and I am His.  Just that one thought liberated me from all the burdens that I had clung to.

Satan is a master at planting thoughts in our minds to make us doubt and we are the masters at using those thoughts to hold us back from the everlasting love of our Abba Father.

You are loved and you are enough.

Always remember that!

❤ Sarah

Conflict

I haven’t lived on this earth long enough to know why things happen the way they do, but I learned enough in my 28 years of life to know I should never discount others feelings.

Recently I have been under so much stress with family and even with work that I forgot to act in love.

I thought that everything I did was kind and gentle, but I was wrong. My emotions, my tone, and even my body language did not display the love I have in my heart for everyone I meet.

At first, when this was pointed out to me I got defensive, but after reflecting I knew there had to be some value to the claim.

I’m not sure what caused me to hurt this person and I will continue to try to get to the bottom of it, but the main issue was that I didn’t show love and I didn’t show kindness.

Renee Swope has an amazing quote that I strive for daily: “I want to be a woman who overcomes obstacles by tackling them in faith instead of tiptoeing around them in fear.”

After the initial conversation with the individual, I inadvertently hurt I decided to go back to them and talk it out. I had no idea I was acting the way I was and I apologized for the way I acted. I also asked that they tell me if I do it again so I could be held accountable.

The underline problem I am still searching for. I am still not sure if there was something that triggered me to act this way or if I was just letting my stress out and it landed on them, These are the things I am still mulling over.

Conflict is always going to happen in life. That won’t change.

What can change, however, is how I handle it.

I am the kind of person that has to think about the conflict before I can find a solution and I have to make sure that I never present my case or my feelings while angry.

Every situation is different and how we handle these kinds of situations will be different, because we are all beautifully different! It is our differences that make us strong.

It is our differences that make us stronger.

When conflicts arise in life remember to think before speaking and remember that not everyone is like you, so the way you.

I’m happy that my coworker and I were able to move past this situation. Backing off and thinking helped me to see the validity of their statement and their concern and for that, I hope I was able to reverse how they saw me in that moment of conflict.

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❤ Sarah

Mistakes

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950)

I’m not perfect and honestly, no one is.

Go ahead you can admit it too!

Mistakes will happen and handling them can be a challenge.

I recently made a huge communication no-no by missing a  spelling error on a publication.

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To some, this may not seem like a big deal, but when it’s your boss sending out the documents and catching all the flak for the errors – it can feel like the whole world is crashing down on you in that moment.

I corrected the errors and sent out the correct documents, but that didn’t stop the crushing feelings that I had.

I failed.

The truth though is that my failure can be put behind me. Mistakes happen, they will always happen.

They happen at work, they happen in marriage, heck they even happen when we are trying to be a good parent.

It isn’t the mistake that defines us; it’s how we choose to overcome them.

I was raised to take responsibility for my mistakes. So I apologize for the mistake, I correct the mistake and I do my best to get my emotions in check, which is sometimes the hardest part – no one likes failing.

Really want I want to say is it’s totally fine to mess up, it’s a natural part of life. If we were all perfect we would be boring and we wouldn’t grow.

❤ Sarah

Struggling

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Recently, I have felt completely depleted and in all honesty I don’t know how I am going to handle this.

It is my own personal issue, yet when I try to discuss it with someone so I can talk my way through it, they always want to fix it for me.

It just shows how much my friends and family care, but they can’t fix it.

Life has a way of beating down on us and if life doesn’t get in the way – I do.

We have all heard the saying that “We are our own worse enemy.” It is true. How do we manage to take something simple and turn it into the most complicated issue on the face of the earth?

I’m a working mother who struggles.

  • I struggle with my appearance.
  • I struggle with my chores, which never seem to end.
  • I struggle to leave my son at daycare.

The struggles can go on and on.

Everyone has struggles and they’re not comparable because we are all at different places in our lives. Yet, we constantly compare our lives to that of others either to bring us down or to make us feel better about our life choices.

That is not how I want to live my life. I’m tired of comparing; it sucks the joy right out of life and makes me feel as though I am a failure. The reality is that I am doing my very best and my son and husband know that.

There is no solution to my struggles except for a change in the way I think (only I can control that) and to give my burdens over to my Abba Father.

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalms 55:22

For those of you dealing with struggles today, just know you aren’t alone and do your best not to compare yourself to others. Find something that brings you joy and hang on to it. Do not be shaken, stand firm!

I will be hanging on to my little one tonight for he is a great joy to my soul!

Wishing you all the best,

❤ Sarah

Small Victories

Tobias is one of the pickiest eaters I have ever met, and I have met a lot!

Maybe it is because I never let him eat from my plate, or maybe that is just who he is. Either way, I find it to be extremely irritating.

I hear the same advice all the time, “he will eat when he is hungry.”

Yes, I know, but the trick is getting him something he will actually eat when he is hungry!

I have tried switching up meats for him to try, but that never seems to go well. Once he ate a chicken nugget and I was so thrilled I literally jumped up and down.

I looked like an idiot, but I didn’t care.

Guess what! He hasn’t eaten one since then. Of course, he will dip it in the ketchup and lick the ketchup off of the chicken, but he won’t bite into the chicken.

Toddlers!

Need I say more?

We go through the same routine every night when its time for dinner. He runs over to his chair, sits himself down and inspects his plate. Then he will point to each thing given to him and waits for me to tell him what they are.

I have never given him pork, simply because we don’t eat it often in our house, but this night was different and I served him a pork cutlet.

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So he started with his favorite item on the plate; ketchup.

Tobias points at it smiling and I say “that’s ketchup.”

He giggles and moves on.

He always points to the other items that aren’t meat first.I explain what each is as he smiles, but still nothing has gone into his mouth yet.

Finally he gets to the pork. The smile is gone from his face. He points at it and looks up at me.

“That’s pork.”

Now I seem to have gotten his attention. He is now really watching me. He inspects it further and then points again. And again I tell him its pork.

What does he do? He picks it up, smells it and then dips it in the ketchup.

I’m thinking well he we go again, another meal my child won’t eat.

Then it happens, the pork made it into this mouth, and it was the first thing he finished!

He consumed three servings of food that night!

The one thing I put on his plate that I thought he would eat, he ignored. Sorry sweet potatoes.

It isn’t much, but it is a small victory. After two months of him wanting nothing to do with the meals I prepared, he finally ate something!

His stomach was so full that you could see it popping out of his shirt!

Current Score: Tobias: 2,599 —Mom: 1

I’ll still take it!

One Day At A Time

Kids are great, but sometimes you can feel your sanity slipping away. For me, this is especially true when I should be asleep. Every parent can relate, I’m sure!

There is always something to be thankful for.

Last night was one of those nights where all my patience vanished.

Poor Tobias, I know he was tired, but he just couldn’t fall asleep. I tried everything: Rocking, walking with him, letting him cry it out etc.—nothing worked!

Just when I thought things were calming down he would wake back up. You know what I mean, right? You finally find that comfortable position and it’s like they know! As soon as I relaxed–BAM the crying started!

Now typically we would let him fall back asleep on his own, but he was keeping our neighbors awake (the downside to living in an apartment).

I lost my mind last night and parent guilt took over (and yes it truly is a thing).

“What if he is sick?” 

“What if he is teething?” 

“You can’t even calm your own child.”

All these things ran through my head along with…

“I just want sleep.”

“Oh my gosh child, just calm down.” 

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” 

Tobias and I ended up on the couch around 4 am this morning, and finally he fell asleep. Soon after my alarm went off so that I could get everything ready for the day. I had no motivation to move. That is when I looked over at my sleeping, almost two-year-old and whispered “I am indeed blessed.” 

God made children cute for a reason people! So that when you are at your wits end they will do something that you can’t help but smile at. It’s like magic! You can have all your anger built up and then WHAM there is that cute smile and a hug and kiss. Melts my heart.

Parents you know what I am talking about!

Last night it was seeing him finally fall asleep and just knowing that I was entrusted with this strong-willed toddler for a reason. I was chosen to be his mother. And even thought I was sleep deprived I was still on duty.

Psalms 127:3-4 (NIV) “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.” 

The old cliché is true, we do have to take it one day at a time and even one moment at a time.

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 With each movement my heart grows a little bigger and my life is a little brighter.

Sarah